Turn My Turbines 006 : Kids

Kids.

Heelies kids. You can't discipline a heelies child you see in public in any manner short of tripping them so they fall and crack a few teeth. But god forbid you do that or their parents come running up to you waving hands and screaming OH MY GOD YOU HURT MY BABY! I was in Target and a kid comes zooming down the aisle on his heelies. Clips my arm slightly which annoys the piss out of me. I don't like smelly, sticky little kids touching me in any way. I can hardly stand it when they stare at me. What really got me going was when her mom demanded I apologize for almost knocking her son over. I told her no because he shouldn't even be skating in the store because it's against the rules and if she wants I can go get an employee to back me up. She huffs off with her kid and I smile as I go buy something for a certain somebody for Valentine's Day.

Loud kids are just as bad. There is nothing worse than being in a movie theater and having the brats behind you talk every other scene and of course "they're only kids" according to the parents when you try to get them to shut up. I understand you want a family outing but leave the kids at home if you know they can't keep their fucking mouths shut thus ruining the film for myself and other patrons.

Oh here's another one for you soon to be mommies and daddies out there. If your son or daughter has a handheld game system such as a Nintendo DS or PSP and wants to bring it into a restaurant tell that little bastard to either turn the volume off or bring headphones because the next time I have to eat my meal to the tune of Super Mario Brothers I'm going to take the toy from him and throw it away. Honestly I don't go to Perkins to listen to someone else play a video game. If I wanted to listen to the sounds of Grand Theft Auto I'd play it myself.

Maturity Freaks. These are the worst in my opinion. These are the 11 and 12 year olds who act like their 23 years old. Reminds me of the one little girl in my neighborhood. She wears big sunglasses and talks outside on her parent's cordless phone for hours while making bitchy looks at cars that go by. I wonder if she's even talking to anyone or not . Just enjoy being a kid while you can because really, being older may kick ass but once you hit a certain age there are certain things you just don't do anymore.

It’s not just the kids. No, it’s the parents to. In particular moms. You try to teach your children to be responsible but you never take responsibility for the shitty behavior of your kids in public because you’re so use to them acting like assholes you just try to justify it. Yes kids will be kids, but you have to be a parent. I don’t care if you make them cry or upset them so they throw a tantrum. Being lax in public so your devil spawn can take out his frustration on everybody around him isn’t the way to go. Besides haven’t any of you pricks ever heard of a babysitter?

Join me again soon for another segment of Turn My Turbines. Comments and suggestions greatly appreciated.