Turn My Turbines 002 : Fruit

Yes, I have started a weekly blog rant that all of my friends and non friend can now read on Myspace. I call it Turn My Turbines. I coined the name from Grind my Gears but wanted to still be original. This is the first issue of Turn my Turbines so expect more, better rants in the future. Until then leave suggestions on things you want to hear about because I don't want to sit around thinking about what I should rant about.

You know what Turns My Turbines? Fruit. They provide valuable nutrients to us. They prevent us from getting scurvy, and some of them taste great in alcohol. But Travis? Someone will no doubt ask me why are you ranting about fruit if it's so good? Well, my fragile reader you see some fruit just plain sucks and should be avoided at all costs..

Bananas. What is with this fruit. I mean first off you can never eat one when you want to because your mom buys them and they're still green for a week and a half. Then when they are ripe you only have 2 days to eat 8 of them before they get all brown and shitty on the inside. And people say "oh the brown part doesn't taste bad." Bullshit it doesn't. There's that taste of rotten fruit in your mouth and you can't tell me that's the same as eating one that's actually ripe. Hell even when they look ripe sometimes they're still hard and tasteless.

Pears are the same. Hard to tell when they're okay to eat and these fuckers don't even change their color so you either get something once again hard with no taste that makes you question why the hell you bought this in the first place or an overly soft grenade shaped food that just sprays pear shit and juice all over you. Of course when this happens there are never any paper towels near you so you're stuck with sticky fruit juice on your fingers, face and clothes and end up feeling as disgusting as you do when you eat pancakes. It gets even worse. Pears, like bananas can't be used in pies. The purpose they serve outside of occasional consumption to ward of starvation or disease is to use them to throw at or insert into people to startle or injure them in some way. While this is fun, all fruit can be used for this, as well as any food and still have other purposes and reason to exist.

Bananas, shit. Pears, shit. Try something good like an orange or some grapes. But stay away from Watermelon, or anything with seeds you have to work to not swallow isn't worth eating. And that's what Turns My Turbines.